What sugars and spices go into the Dominatrix Dish? What makes a Woman a Dominatrix? What are the essential components of a Mistress? *I will use the word "Dominatrix" and "Mistress" interchangeably.
The short and simple answer is that a Dominatrix is whatever you fantasize her to be. Sexy, cruel, demanding, leather-clad, insert adjective.
The dictionary answer--a Woman who plays the dominant role in a sado-masochistic sexual relationship or encounter (notice the use of the words "plays...the role").
My interpretation: A Mistress is a Dominant Woman who takes pleasure in exercising the art of control and power exchange. She understands the psychology of submission and She assumes responsibility for those she dominates. She is in control over her submissives and -- even more importantly -- she is in control of herself. A certain level of maturity resulting from wisdom and common sense must be present. And she will have ZERO tolerance for time-wasters.
Generally, as a Dominatrix fine-tunes her craft and expands her reputation, her dungeon toys also become more plentiful and elaborate. She takes great joy in bringing her submissives under her control. This is why Professional Dommes use implements such as ropes, handcuffs, and hogties -- things that bind an individual so that he is rendered powerless and thus can be more easily controlled. Nevertheless, even without the toys and contraptions, a Dominatrix will melt the will of her slaves with her mind and hands (and feet). This begs the question: where does the power of a Mistress really lie?
The power of a Dominatrix lies in her ability to get inside the minds of her slaves and controlling them to such an extent that they feel compelled to obey her and submit to her. How does a Mistress exercise power and control? She will observe her subjects, notice what triggers them, learn their desires and fears, watch for clues in body language, and she makes use of all that information to better influence them.
Underneath the veneer of a Mistress' cruelty and dehumanizing treatment of her submissives, lies her understanding and acceptance of them. A true Mistress takes the time to know why her subs need to submit and will give them the release and BALANCE they hunger for. As the dominant, although her pleasure is the immediate goal, she must always act in the best interest of her submissives as they are under her care.
A Mistress expects to be treated with respect and cordiality at all times. She does not ask for permission -- she communicates what she wants in a manner that is firm but unobtrusive. She thinks before she speaks, she acts with care and precision, and she NEVER punishes/hurt her submissives in the moment of anger. Her dominance is evenly tempered by the art of control, and her capacity for compassion.
Being a Mistress is an art form in and of itself. It is an art that can take a lifetime to perfect. Lucky is the submissive who serves a Mistress who has dedicated her life to perfecting her craft.