Sissy, sissy-maid, sissy-slut, sissy-bitch, cross dresser, transvestite, androgyne, eunuch--I use these terms to describe a certain brand of sub who I love to feminize and emasculate. As with all forms of kink, the feminization of the male sub and its multi-layered pleasures is highly psychological. It challenges and reshapes our understanding of traditional masculinity, femininity, misogyny and sexism.
I enjoy the illicit thrill of dressing up a male sub in women's attire--lingerie, dresses, high-heels--for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, it is a potent way for Me to demonstrate My power and control over a man by forcing him to wear that which is deemed socially unacceptable for him. By forcing him to cross this boundary, I assume ownership (even if temporarily) of his masculine identity and the belief system that was built around it to make him feel empowered in his world. I destroy his construct of manhood, causing his sense of self to collapse, and indoctrinate him into My female world.
The humiliation of being feminized intensifies when the sissy is forced to crossdress before a woman, the gender to which he should be proving his male sexual prowess and reproductive value. This is liberating to him in that the extreme pressures to 'perform' and 'impress' women are lifted. He becomes an object for said woman to toy with and use based on Her terms and Her preferences. This element of emasculation is intense, especially when ordered to perform what are traditionally "female tasks" such as cleaning and cooking under the scrutiny of the Mistress(es). He becomes exposed, controlled, and liberated all at once.
On the other hand, the humiliation aspect of forced feminization does not always have to stem from a lack of masculinity but rather the failed emulation of femininity. Women are so superior in their beauty and sensuality that he, no matter how hard he tries, can never be like them. The sheer attempt of trying to be a pretty girl is humiliating, often resulting in a distorted version of what he can never be. Laughing and pointing at his ridiculousness, the Mistress reminds him that he is but an inferior MALE and that beauty is reserved only for women. He is but a caricature of a woman, therein lies his humiliation.
The sissy wants to be the Mistress' plaything, object, slut, and whore. He abdicates his male status so that he CAN assume these submissive roles for Her. It is arguable that there is some underlying misogyny enabling the dynamic. On the surface, it is too easy to interpret sissification as sexist because femininity is humiliating for a man. It is not difficult to trace the origins of this fallacy to the earliest of childhood interactions. Beginning in primary school, the overarching presumption is that males are the stronger gender. A typical way in which a more dominant boy insults and subjugated a weaker one is to call him a "girl" or "sissy" or "homosexual", thereby regarding the feminine in the pejorative. It appears to be self-defeating to the Mistress as She cheers this on by degrading Her sissy for these very reasons. Does this really suggest that men are superior to women and that the role-reversal actually reinforces that attitude? The answer is NO. Sissification is about erasing masculinity rather than debasing femininity. Nevertheless, kink itself consciously explores and distorts sexism. It is arousing for the very reason that the social constructs underlying many fetishes are taboo when inverted. The Mistress and sissy are not reinforcing the existing norms: they are challenging and repurposing it into a fun, perverted game for their own gratification.
Adhering to one set of gender norms can be exhausting. If women would consider the pressures and expectations of what is required to be a successful, desirable male in society, they would have greater appreciation for the disposable sex. Anne O Nomis, author of "The History & Arts of the Dominatrix" writes: "Every individual may have election of both genders within them, in their personality and attributes. Society, however, imposes an artificial binary allegiance to a fixed gender identification and compliance with its attendant gender role. The Dominatrix defies the social rules and artificial norms imposed on individuals by mixing attributes and revealing both in her alchemy. No part of social gender identity need to be carried on in her space. An individual is free to consider their sexual and gender identity and role afresh, the weight of their socially expected role lifted off them."
The constant need for men to prove themselves to each other and to the opposite sex that they are strong, crafty, and victorious is tiring. It is not surprising that as a respite, sissy subs want to luxuriate themselves in the beauty of femininity, the desired sex, the objectified gender who does not need to prove anything. Women are sought-after, competed over, provided for, protected, and eroticized as physical beings whereas men do not have the luxury of having whatever they wish by looking pretty. Fabrics such as silk, lace, and satin not only feels nice to the touch but represents the privilege of beauty and feminine sensuality. The feminine frippery, the silky smooth grip of panties, the thrilling flutter of a hemline at the thighs… these present a stark contrast to the monotonous and limited fashion available to men. The sissy wants to feel that same level of desirability when wearing sexy lingerie and heels, he wants his Mistress to grab/grope him and pinch him like a sex object. He wants to be ravished by a woman for once instead of having to initiate everything as is expected of a man. He wants to present himself for the sensory and visual pleasure of the Mistress. Feminization allows both Mistress and sub to experience the other gender's privileges and burden.
I have used not only dresses and lingerie but also breast fillers and make-up to accentuate the details of womanhood. The French maid uniform on a male sub is one of My personal favorite imageries (and that of other Mistresses no doubt), with lots of exaggerated frills, skirt layers, lace trimmings, thigh-high fishnet stockings, high-heels, and flamboyant feather duster to complete this classic look. I like to watch a sissy clean in said uniform, bending over to dust lower areas, walking clumsily across the floor but always making an effort to look girly for Me. The image itself causes a shift in My own thinking in that the "sluttiness" of the maid uniform makes Me to want to grope him, pinch him, casually slap his panty-covered behind while he is cleaning, bend him over a table...The clothing and mannerism of the sissy turns Me into the piggish frat boy, the inebriated customer at the strip club, the overpowering lover who does not take "no" for an answer. My sexual aggression satisfies his desire to be lusted after, which in turn fuels My desire to force Myself on him.
Another reason I enjoy feminizing My subs is due to the fact that it is just plain fun to do so as a 'girlish' activity. I feel like a little girl who is playing with her dolls, mixing and matching clothing/makeup. While some sissies deserve to wear cheap, slutty outfits to attain the 'whore' effect, others need to be properly embellished for aesthetic appeal. A sissy who is committed to achieving the perfect ‘look’ becomes a project for Me. Details such as the precise blend of makeup to apply to his eyes and how to tweeze his eyebrows to achieve feminine lines are critical to the transformation. The color of the lingerie or clothing is also crucial so as to best bring out his skin tone. And, of course, everything should match accordingly from the clothing itself to the right shoes to fit the theme of the ensemble. If a dress merits a pair of dressy open-toed heels, then My sissy needs to have a perfectly pedicured set of feet with an appropriate shade of nail polish. I apply the same level of attentiveness whether the sissy desires to experience femininity with or without the element of submission to a Mistress.
The curious but hesitant sissy-inclined sub might ask the question: "Does being a sissy make me less of a man?" The answer is an emphatic No. I find sissy boys sexually arousing because they allow themselves to explore this role in addition to living their everyday lives as the person everyone knows them to be. As I have explained in previous essays such as "What it Means to Submit" and "What I Look for in a Submissive Male", I am aroused and stimulated by the multidimensional mind of the sub. That a sissy can be his masculine self to the public world, as well as a feminized slut for My amusement and delight and appreciate his ability to assume both identities suggest a mind that is rich in subtle complexity, a sophisticated sexuality, and a level of confidence to be able to do this in the first place. An inflexible mind that clings to traditional masculinity with no room for fluidity does not interest Me whatsoever. To Me, sissies (and other types of fetishists) are more full, colorful individuals who do not insist on blind adherence to gender roles.
Lastly, where there are sissies there is chastity training. More about this soon….